totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
