I'm lost and stupid without you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
