dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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