it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
