i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
