screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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