oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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