Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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