So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
