The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize