i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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