i think my mom watched the whole time
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
