new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
