she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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