dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
