I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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