I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
that is very illegal...i love you.
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