He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The air was thick with penises
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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