i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
two words...techno handjob
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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