So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
