epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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