It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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