you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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