I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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