i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
