ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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