Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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