Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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