i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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