Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
