i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
