is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
