my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
