ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize