Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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