I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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