you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize