I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
