The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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