God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
