i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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