He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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