bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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