that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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