I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
