so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
