oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
