Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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