I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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