why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
