Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
