I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
