i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
