I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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