That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
