I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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