4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The Olympian is in my bed
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
