I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
