but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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