One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
