Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
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You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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