and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
