i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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